Thanatos

Be my
Wounded heart.

Some Horrible Dream...

You where bleeding all over,
Cut by the white strings that held you up
And you were so very sad.
I wept looking at you and tried to cut you down
But you said 'No, I want this.'
A man in the background held the strings
And the room around us splattered
In your blood.
You where naked with your legs together,
Your arms opened wide
And your long, lavish blonde hair
Was stained in parts with red.
You, who understood, would not die
From your wounds, but that
Was the point of it all.
To suffer for crimes you blamed yourself for.
I never blamed you.
I continued to weep.

You looped some of the white strings
Three times about your hands
And opened them to put around my neck.
I stopped you and push them away.
You wanted us both to feel the pain
And dwindle on the twilight of death
But I wanted us to be free
Together.

I left to battle hard in fury,
Killing a steel knight with my sword,
Hacking his blade off of the corpse
And using that to slay the rest of them.
Shooting from one to the other
In a calculated rage fueled by justice.
It was not you, but myself who I hated.
Since, everyday I've wanted to run away
Because of my failings and my lack of self.
If I was more then I perhaps could have saved you
And myself from ourselves.
I could barely see those I killed through my blurred eyes
But their heavy suits gave them away
And their creaking swords fell in slow motion.
Slamming the last of them against a wall
With the long blade through it
I shoved again and again to drive the steel
Deeper to cause it the most pain I could
Before it died in guttural, bloody vomit.
I was shaking after because
I couldn't cry.

I left the ragged corpses and climbed
Many marble steps, walking at the top of them
Through a golden archway.
I fell to the ground and I felt my soul
Collapse within itself.
Pure. Engulfing. Emptiness.
I could annihilate all the armies of the world
Then the planet itself
But I could not free you from your bonds.
The Blind sang of Life and Death
And I slammed my head on the floor
Until my brain was free.


I met another like you then
But she was not you.
She had your traits but they were evil in her.
She was not sensuous, but seething
In her sexuality.
She was Sodom, Gomorrah and Babylon
Incarnate to bed me down and
Distort my memory of you.
Her hair was red and wild,
Her body sleek a virulent.
She invited me to an orgy
With other disreputable women,
For she knew it would have to take
All of them to change my mind of you.
I refused and turned away.

When I woke up with sore, dry eyes
And my stomach and chest in pain
I was shaking and empty
As in my dream.
I haven't stopped thinking of you since.

Poetic Prayer

I pray your dreams be quilted gowns of seraph wings and gloried crowns of joy, contentment, love and peace to guide you gently, never cease, deeper still in to the love I've sent to you on moon lit angels down to kiss you 'til I will. Sleep in peaceful still.

Good night.