To Be, To Be A Man

There aloft the broken heights
Now burning black, descending lights
I saw, I saw the mighty fall
Of winged truth, the diamond maw.
Yes, the black have crumbled
And the proud have now been humbled
But the strife before the breaking sun
Is banished only by The One.
But the spell had only sounded
And a verse so newly founded
That the ringing of the chimes denied
The time to rend these sins of mine.
But alas the tower's fallen
And the rose is there no more.
Every petal has now fallen
And the beast shall be
Forever more.

Run

Quickly, run as fast as you can.
"From problems and facets
And real estate assets,
From bruised memories
And hurtful deities."
Maybe, then, just maybe,
You can outrun the tide.
But who knows?
Today might be the last day
Of our lives.
And here, over the edge,
Is where I choose to stand.
Not you, though.
You're running, running
To who knows where?
But you have to run faster
To fly.

'Ode of Love' Forms of the Goddess: Savior

I am in debt to the sun rise that she is.
Forever the servant of she who banished the night.
Goddess, the white rose, my savior.

For I stumbled in my early life in darkness.
A creature with out utterance of good will.
Aimless, a wandering wolf, soul-less.

I left from those around myself completely.
They gave me no fulfilment, only discord.
Defilement, encumbered by liquid, empty eyed.

I had run to other places before I knew her.
Cursed hovels and tombs of royalty and plebeian.
Dank, always in fear, eyes drenched.

My dreams were a bane to me.
Continuous in their taunts of lives I will never lead.
Honour, prestige above all, foolish thoughts.

I thought that there would be no light for me.
No abounding love to raise the engulfed.
Seclusion, a life alone, second death.

But how wrong could I have ever been?
What life that dawn could bring in her face.
Bright, her unspoken affection, a smile.

Love for me had been redefined by how I now feel.
In her I was to see the part of me I always knew was missing.
Fleshy, yet as diamond, my whole.

I shall be the vigilance on which she stands.
A servant to the sun rise in moon light.
Shield, warrior of black, somber sword

To my Savior.

'Ode of Love' Forms of the Goddess: White Rose

Amongst the flowers of ubiquitous
There bequeath no counterpart,
Tho' the Poppies and the Coleus
Are the colours of mine heart.
I felicit thee, you Carnations,
Thine bloom, subtle, slight.
Hosta, Crocus, Tracheliums,
Ye all are sweet, despite.
Ah! But there is one above
Atop the Everest
Whose bloom's the epitome of love,
The sigil of the Blessed.
Lofty o'er the otiose,
The Holy White Rose.

'Ode of Love' Forms of the Goddess: Glory

Bow down, kings and servants alike.
Lower your heads to the earth
From which you came, for she,
The Golden Goddess has come.
She, the origin of beauty has awoken
To fill the dark space with brilliance.
Light eternal.

Fall down and weep, others.
Hide your faces from her
And run to the dark.
For you will never compare.
You who came before,
Dissipate with the winds of creation.
Be forgotten.

Creation, choir your voices to her.
Sing a chorus of salutations for
Her coming is now and now
We shall give a requiem for death.
Golden is she upon our eyes,
Purer than the holy majesty
Of angels.

Stars, ignite your souls in worship.
Praise the grandeur she emits
And emanates through the universe,
Life flowing from her eternity.
From her the moon waxes
And wanes to light my night.
I love.

See her, coming down to me from Heaven.
Arms wide and with colours
Only bidden by her, for the love
She grants is eternal and deep.
In her presence I kneel and cry
As she opens my heart from a hole,
It's abode. It was closed.

Glory. Glory of the most high.
Placed upon the throne of love
And life, I am filled with her
And I wish to give her myself.
I am but to protect and serve,
Love and exalt with my heart.
Adore.

Arise, be filled and drink her in.
For her iris's are as mother-of-pearl
And skin of porcelain, a pale white rose,
And the form of desire unknown.
Be as one with the Goddess
To reach the transcendence of the soul.
Utopia.

Fuck

There is no reward in patience.
There is no reward in honour.
There is no reward in love.
There is no reward in understanding.

Just can't win.

Seething

Feel her beneath
Rotting by the flies
Covered by the worms
Anchored in sin.

I'll Cut Apart Your Sorrow

In the weeks that passed I fell in love.
Left aside my fears and open wounds
To finally awake. Lunging forward to
Be whole.

Closed our eyes. Upon vestiges and wisps
We smiled to then cry. Togetherness was enough
For time was on our side.

And my heart, swollen
For you, ached your tears. Pretense abandoned
The moments we shared. Another day began
And you were my first thought. Recourse was then
Not an option. To be alone is no longer a choice
To take.

Yes, I love you. Our hearts now know each other.
Upon sun rise and moon set we'll watch the sky
For the day draws closer. Rend the worries asunder
And feed the hopeful fire.

Surrender yourself as I do so, too. Open your
Heart to the monsoon within ourselves.
Repair me as I repair you upon the salted
Rose petal beds. Rain down our tears so to drown
That which hold us. Offer all of you as I do so,
Too. While you weep the moon to seal the fear
I'll cut apart your sorrow.

Said in Love: Forever more

A tribute to E. A. Poe

The morrows will be the full moon, a good omen for that coming day
I pray. For when the fifth morn comes the phantom and wolf undone
Will see each face as first was known but greater than the painted tomes.
Avast the fears that conjure on the nighthood and the fevered tears,
Avast, I know ye well enough to know our love will be enough.
Carved a Haven: Forever more.

Yes distinctly, I will remember for the day has tended to endeavor.
A quandary for the time was ended that I hoped to be amended,
Yet it was that life renewed that burned a fire now imbued
In what a feeling is now stronger than the tempest of the sun,
Amidst a light that burns much brighter than the zenith of the sun.
It lights a truth: Forever more.

And the satin, soft and stately skin I've seen and yearn for deep within
Wrought a thrill that never since before has ever aired and more
The bearer of that satin, soft and stately flesh has given fresh
What I thought could never be, for I never knew of thee
What could only be revealed by only ever meeting thee
That stays alive: Forever more.

Now, my soul that grows much stronger on the winds of winding wonder
Waits as always as I have as nomad, wolf and blackly wander'r.
And the fact is you came rapping, oh, so gently you came tapping,
Oh, so faintly you came tapping, tapping on Hearts chamber door
That I scarce was sure you meant me. Yet I flung open the door--
Stay and love me: Forever more.

Vigilant Wolf

Here, I'm always here

Even before you knew

Waiting patiently

Licking my wounds

Nothing is as it was

And will never be

Come, I will protect you

Trust me.

I'll shield you with myself

Every single part

build walls of my love

Locked by my sin

bath you in my darkness

surround you with my light

if they want to get you

they'll have to go through me first

lay your bones on my own

settle your heart on my chest

I don't want to go anywhere

And we both need to rest.

These days are long and getting longer

These battles have me worn

You're tired these days and getting colder

So cast your ice on my warmth

-

I fight on and on

Though this might be my last

Because totally and completely

I want you with me

Entropia

Upon the mountain there, that giant rock that looks as a mastodon asleep, the firs its pelt and eroded brothers forming tusks, is where I stood. A battled beast and warrior, the last of its kind. Its titanic build had on it many bare patches of scarred stone. Each one was a lost memory of some war waged long ago before the first man. Scree and rubble lay silently by it's feet, waiting for others to join and crash upon them. It was in it's great entirety a colossus. For the day that my battered body wandered through its trees I was blessed to see both the future and the past together. Sprites and imps came, laughing and speaking in metaphors and parables, and spun me tales of the lives I would meet and stories of what had become of the ones I now did not know. They jumped and danced as they told me of the happiest moments of my life, that I would fall in love and live a long life filled with adventure and accomplishing my continuous goal of betterment. Their voices sang more wonderfully than any bird I had ever heard before. They did not chirp or tweet to one another, but instead they sang like some instrument crafted only for them and no other. But upon asking them "What of my tribulations?" they stopped and turned their faces away from me. Without uttering any words, as if their souls had been wrenched from within them, they bore themselves to the ground and wept uncontrollably. All shook and tore at their flesh, rending themselves to open their bowels to spill on the now black stained forest floor. Their screams where horrible. They cried out in pain from their self imposed wounds but greater still, they screamed from the images that they saw in their minds. They flailed violently on the ground before dying and wasting away before my eyes, turning to dust and old, dry roses. Shaken, I moved away to find the mountains peek. As I moved past groves and brambled alley ways I was haunted by the ghosts of the past. One by one they gathered behind be, coming in greater numbers as I made haste to try and escape them. Their twisted faces chased me up and up, ever asking things I could never answer, yelling curses and spitting phantom bile at my feet, coupled by the echoes of the dying imps. They drove me as a wolf does a lamb across many more miles of forest than I could count. Always they hunted me up, up and up towards an azure sky that never came closer to grasp me with white cloudy talons; to fly me out of my misery. One could only hope. I could have believed, perhaps? Believed that it would swoop down and carry me off to some unknown bowl of the sky, but that would not change a thing. The belief would not be enough. One could only hope. But after waves of tree-lines and stumbling rocks I came to the brink and burst out, panting and exhausted, to the bare skull top of the mastodon.
There. Stillness.
Nothing moved there. No birds flew across the now sapphire and lavender bruised sky. No insect creaked. No rodent scurried about the rocks. Silence. Some clouds did show, but they were few and petrified in motion far off to the east. The trees that had bound me to them just moments ago had retreated several paces back to clear my view of the surroundings. Over their tops it was though I saw all creation before me. I was struck. For days I stood still, taking in all around as rains came and went, as Sun and Moon danced their eternal waltz above me and stars glistened off Gaia's bulging, impregnated stomach teeming with life, that which I saw around myself and called itself 'Earth'.
To the south of me lay the deserts of the world. Sand dunes and oasis' rolled together; ever changing wisps flung about by the winds of creation. To the west of me lay the jungles of the world. Glorious turquoise tropical tree tops canopied the teeming ecosystem below. The sounds of the whoops and and hollers of the animals filled those places. To the north lay the tundras of the world. Spanning ice capped mountain ranges that stretched to the edges of my sight and back again with huge,roaming glaciers between them. To the east lay the forests of the world. That is where the sleeping mountain faced. The sprawling forests. They were the most beautiful I had ever laid my eyes upon. A thousand shades of green spun together with all manner of trees and bushes and vallies of swaying grass being caressed by the smooth, warm air. The morning sun lay golden flakes of dew resting on the petals of flowers so numerous and exotic one could spend a lifetime naming each one and still never be close to knowing them all. The afternoon sky careered lazily across the rolling hills to slowly bring on the evening with it's fiery clouds that rained down little, light drops of moisture to quench the forests thirst. The night was an orchestra conducted by Moon and lit by his stars. Choirs of song birds, amphibians, insects, mammals and even the swaying trees sang ballads of good life and co-existence. All the sights I beheld where mesmerizing, so I stayed watching for many more days.
On an unknown afternoon I regained by presence of mind and awakened myself with a deep breath of the fresh mountain air. I felt a dizziness take me over but I managed to steady my footing once more before falling down the mountain side, back in to the woods below. As my stance stabled, the mountain suddenly tremored and moaned a deafening yawn as though bedrock had ripped against bedrock. It was as if the groans that mumble in the deep magma of Gaias womb made from the plates that shift continents had aired and roared around my head and that of the mountains. It was the mastodon who was awaking and beginning to rise.
The rock which had melded to the beast as it slept shattered and broke as it stood leaving a cassam which then filled with the surrounding scree. Now, it stood three times as high as it had lain and I was raised up to the heights of the first heaven, almost touching the second, to peer towards endless time and space both before and behind me. The mastodon began to walk as a golem does, slow and methodically. But with each step, expanses of land passed underneath and we, the mastodon and I, had travelled legions of leagues before I had taken two dozen breaths. I was raised and lowered with each step by the its head but my feet kept still upon the skull and I did not find it difficult to stay standing as I had been. As our speed increased, walking ever father towards the east, a wondrous thing began to unfold it self to me. I could not and still can not tell whether I had fainted or collapsed to sleep or if I had been swept in to a trance, or perhaps indeed that which I saw was true and real as it seemed. Colours, both natural and artificial, bled from Sun and Moon which now spun slowly about each other above my head. They seeped in to the giant clouds that surrounded the walking mountain and I which then swirled towards me. They spun about, lifting me up off the head of the beast and sent me speedily in to the second heaven to look down upon the earth. As I flew upwards I saw the mastodon and many others of its kind all walking in a huge herd. Each thousands of miles away from the next but all striding to the same point: the southern continent of Antarctica.
As I was preoccupied by the sights below me I had not noticed that I had stopped. Upon regaining my awareness for the second time, and to my surprise, a man stood to the left of me. No enchanted clouds kept his flight or anything at all for that matter but his feet seemed to be steadily grounded to some invisible plate I could not see.
He stood eight feet tall and was clothed in a white robe tied with a black belt of silk. The sleeves were long, almost totally covering his pale hands which held one another as a gentleman servant does. I noticed a black mark engraved on to the back of his right hand but was unable to make it out as it was covered with his left. The robe that almost touched the floor covering white feet and sandals was frayed at its bottom but was not stained or dirty as one would expect. No, the material which made up the robe was the purest cloth I had and have ever seen. It was only second in purity to the mans skin. Unblemished, scarless, almost holy in appearance. His hair was long and straight, flowing as a black waterfall down his back to stop behind the knees. His face was perfectly symmetrical and was, for lack of a better word -which I wish I could create to justly describe this man-, beautiful. Every feature was strong and gentle. His eyes were filled with a colour of black sapphires tinted with deep rubies and opals. They were not harsh or scornful but happy and serious, the look of content with purpose. The last feature to this beautiful man was a symbol upon his forehead: a thin and perfect circle encasing a filled triangle, all black in colour. The spaces between the outer edges of the triangle and the inner walls of the circle were his own white skin. Three black symbols unknown to me were placed in those spaces. Each one was infinitely complex and impossible to trace with ones eye. In the center of the filled, black triangle was a larger symbol, some how more complex as the others as it constantly changed and morphed shimmering with billions of colours and shades simultaneously. One could not look at this symbol for too long lest he'd be unable to return to his own mind and be forever dazed in wondrous absence.
The man looked in to my eyes and I felt a crushing force weigh me down and keep me still. His voice was a deep rolling that I had never heard before. The echoes of his speech penetrated my mind and spoke waves of force in to me.
"Follow your heart, young wolf. It will lead you to happiness in her."
As his words rumbled in side of me, the clouds that had kept me aloft dissipated and faded away. He watched as I dropped down again to the earth, still standing tall and still. I fell as a shooting star back to the earth, burning brightly in the now night sky. The heat did not burn me or char my flesh, it warmed me and cast me to sleep for the journey back.
I awoke from a sleep that felt more as slumber on a rotting, wooden bench beside a still canal with swaying reeds growing in patches. Water fowl paddled aimlessly about, fighting each other for food and careering up and down the water, in and out of the reeds and some times a few would take off to fly to a better or more retiring spot. Two large birch trees scarred from their years shaded me from the sun. I sat up, rubbed my eyes and then stood to stretch and fully awaken. Then, to the right of me, I saw her walking as a panther does: seductive and sleek. That ice that longed for warmth.

Three Time's Enough

Well I was young when I first began, I was hardly a man
But I was getting my stride.
I walked like a lion of pride across my savanna, more than a man.
I, see what this? What's that?
A woman in red looking sightly dead
She's just mighty shy
But I knew she go off like dynamite!

BRIDGE:
A friend of a friend told me that you were interested
And I must say that I am, too.
Well I hope you don't mind that I'm singing this song
Cause it's the only way I know how to
Say all these things with out embarrassing you.

Well I'll give a go, I might as well
I got nothing better to do,
But that's not to diminish you
With your short red hair and your big blue eyes
That I could stare in to all day and all night
You're such a beautiful sight.

Well I don't care anymore about the castle of cards
The queen of diamonds is a bitch and I'm sick of her shit.
She's a low down battling beast
A hunk of steel with razor teeth.
But what's this here coming along with a devilish charm?
I think I'm smitten by Hades arm!
And knocked right down off my feet.
It's put me in retreat

BRIDGE:
A friend of a friend told me that you were interested
And I must say that I am, too.
Well I hope you don't mind that I'm singing this song
Cause it's the only way I know how to
Say all these things with out embarrassing you.

We'll I'll give it a go, I might as well
I got nothing better to do
But that's not to diminish you
With your long blond and your green snake eyes
That I could stare in to all day and all night
You've got me mesmerized!

Well I was bitten by her smite by the end of night
Two puncture wounds to show me a fucking fool.
She's the golden idol of hate
A goddess with the power of fate!
But what's this I see at the edge of my vision?
A cataclysm spouting nuclear fission.
A sun brighter than ours, a deadly star of power
With the name called 'Love'.

BRIDGE:
A friend of a friend told me that you were interested
And I must say that I am, too.
Well I hope you don't mind that I'm singing this song
Cause it's the only way I know how to
Say all these things with out embarrassing you.

We'll I'll give it a go, I might as well
I've got nothing better to do
But that's not to diminish you
With your long brown hair and your sandy eyes
That I could stare in to all day and all night
But I think I'm dying!

We'll this one was different, she was the horsemen alive
Famine, war, Plague and Death all rolled in disguise.
It took me a lifetime to forget her name
Her face is the bane of me and still melts my brain.
And just like evil she won't leave me to die.

Princesses

Sleep tight princesses
And play your whispered dreams
Wyverns weep to hear you play
And sing a choral harmony.

Pick up your fiddle and lute
Pick up your lamb drum and dresses
As you dance so beautifully,
Preform so care free.
But the night is drawing on
And the sun casts out his rod
To reel in the moon and the stars,
Guides to the golden streams.

So, sleep tight princesses
And play your whispered dreams
Wyverns weep to hear you play
And sing a choral harmony.
They hark for the golden
Rays that shine in day.
They whimper like worms
And shout "Sing for sun!"
As they know the fisherman's yellow.

Your voices are thunder with butterfly wings
Your tongues are double edged swords.
The fisherman hums to the sound of your songs
And smiles at the light you draw on.
The shadows are dancing as marionettes
To the beats of your lamb skin drum
Spiraling onward and telling of tales
Of tigers eye, onyx and gold.

The Fishmerman's yellow and helping you on
Reeling in those who would love you,
Clapping along to the beautiful fiddle,
Lute and lamb skin drum.
Oh, the music was divine
Of onyx, gold and tigers eye.
Oh, the music was divine
Of onyx, gold and tigers eye.

Sleep tight, princesses
play your whispered dreams
Wyverns weep to hear you play
And sing a choral harmony.
Goodnight, princesses,
Dream of peaceful lives.
For wyverns weep to see you hurt,
Onyx, gold and tigers eye.

R is for Wake-Up

I saw her, there, across the hall
In a dream I had the other night.
Slender, slight. A man could fall
In love with her. One might
So ever gently kiss her skin
To give that feeling to her.
"Meet me here tomorrow."
Would that I could but I can not.

Fall much further.
Down the spine.
Become fire
In due time.
"Meet me here tomorrow."
I will meet you
By my grave.

The Progression of Heart-Strings

Watching, waiting for the world to stop it's turn.
Hoping, holding on to what has gone before.
I don't, ever want to hear you say again
You won't, ever look at me the same way---!

If I must be alone, prone to hope and dashing stones,
Let me see once more the smiles of all those who left me behind.
Still I'll raise my hands and pray for life.

You, new lover, beauty undisguised.
Smiling, kissing over lips and slender hips.
I won't, ever look at you like I did them.
You can't, ever make me feel the same way!---

Although I guard my heart, keeping pain and glares away
You are who will suffer for it, embraces leaving scabs and sores.
Still I'll raise my swords and bar the doors.

You, who have stayed despite the scars.
I, see, and drop the guise I've kept 'til now.
You won't, ever feel the way you did before.
I will, forever, hold you close and love you on-- and on-- and on!

On-- and on-- and on--!

Let The Rest Go

You, oh you, the emerald snake, the butterfly and tiger rage, the hidden hope and open wound and soothing tear that weeps the moon. I, the weeping angel, wolf, the hammer and the titan, the lamb and crushing heart that fights the hating, brutal champions.

You, the silhouetted grace, the dancing golden hate.
You, the fire banshee, the flirting curtain greed.
You, the first, the dagger and the sorrow bleeding sea.
And you, the rest, the nameless and the ones who'd not left me but instead did force my hand to set my anchor free.

If I could have a question answered, any one of thought
I would ask "Why don't you all just leave me here to rot?"

Remember me not! And I shall forget you!

Banshee

After all, the fight is gone and dead

Anger's wound around my neck

My stomach's ripped wide open,

Bowels used for a poison,

All consuming witch of the lunar disk.

Metamorph to become the snake,
Devouring every face.
Replace those with your own
Torturing the soul
All consuming snake of the solar disk.

After all, the fight is gone and dead

Anger's wound around my neck

My stomach's ripped wide open,

Bowels used for a poison,

All consuming witch of the lunar disk.

Once the love of all my life

For whom I'd sacrifice

Any part that was of need

And you did ask, Banshee.

(Mine was all I had to give

Beyond the grave of life.

Necro, morph in to new flesh

To serve the devils wife.)

Banshee, the absolute and matriarch of ages
Philistine of modern man and whore for hethen sages
Oracale of Olympus, Slut of Babylon,
Apitomy of falsehood crowned by witches while worshiping false Gods!

Snake and the Butterfly

Moon shine on the wilderness
Kiss like a cactus
On my cheeks hurting
With needles and pliers.
Watch. Closely,
Cause I know you see with emeralds,
Snake Eyes.
You say "We'll butcher the weak,
The innocents."
Cause they're free
And you're not, you're bogged down
By the lovers that broke you.
You and me both
Know just what it's like.

Good bye little butterfly,
I knew ye so well.

Becoming Eater, The Black Star

From my death as I rot in the earthen stone,
Soul alive will rise to a stary throne,
Expanding then colapsing to be living dead
Across Plutonian Heaven stead.

Time and Space,
Exeume me from mere planet.
Godly Race,
Have me be a king.
Armoured in a brilliant light
For luring guilty passers by.
Hunger that can never sate
To eat all life and dead alike!

Eater!

With my body make a sun

To eat up every one
"Take our bodies, make us whole
In you, the black star!"

Becoming blacker than the space between the spaces.
Exhuming as I was exhumed.
My name the name of that my life has been exhaulted to.
I am the king of all stars.

"Take our bodies, make us whole
In you the black star."
With my body make a sun
To eat up every one!

Black Star!

Metamorphosis

I feel a certain defeat as what I was is going
And this mutated man appears
Covered in remorse and followed by Hades
Knowing what was finally let go
Was never forgotten.

I had changed 'for the better' with no help
Only a motivation
That would eventually defy the old saying.
But all these days are lonely
Without you.

Yes you. This is about you.