It was fear.

Tell me what you want to hear from me. That I failed in the face of the monster wyrm so it took me over? To him, his name like paniced shallow breaths, I am a vulture to swoop down and kill, humiliating in overpowerment. That I could not fight, perhaps? For its eyes stun warriors greater than I. Its poisen boils the stomach to overflow out the eyes. Its sickening warmth streams down my pale face. Its laughter is like noiseless vomit seeping out the mouth. Venom from God as punishment. Then let yourself hear it; It was fear.